Why your friends don’t go to church
Mar. 6 2007
I got asked a funny question today. I was being interviewed by somebody and they asked me about the statistic that 70% of people between the ages of 18-34, who once attended church, no longer do.
I’m not a huge fan of stats and I don’t know if this stat is accurate. (Somebody google it and get back to me if this is accurate or not.) But I do remember reading this stat in a book. 70% of a generation. So why is that? Why are 70% of 18-34 year olds missing from the church?
This is what I told the interviewer (and I’m going to put it up in two parts because it’s kind of long). It’s nothing profound. I’m not sure categorically if I know the answers but if I had a chance to sit in a room with a bunch people between the ages of 18-34, that didn’t go to church, I would ask them a couple questions.
Question number 1: If you grew up in a Christian home did your parents demonstrate through their words and actions a love and passion for the local church?
Why would I ask this? Well, we really do learn a tremendous amount from our parents.
Much of what we learn is caught more than taught. What parents are passionate about, their kids are passionate about. It’s likely that if parents are sincerely passionate about the church and build life and family into the church, then their kids will be passionate about the church.
Now you can’t press this too far. I am not advocating that parents are to blame if their kids grow up without a passion for the church. But to all the parents and future parents: what you are passionate about your kids will most likely be passionate about as well.
I see this with McCarthy (my six year old son) all the time. I love the Terps. He loves the Terps. I love spending time with Jesus in the morning. He loves spending time with Jesus in the morning. I am excited about being with the people of God (the church). He is excited about being with the people of God. I am excited about telling others about the good news of Jesus Christ. He is excited about telling others about Jesus Christ. Is it that simple all the time? No. But, I do believe that as parents our main responsibility is to make sure our souls are passionate about the right things for our kids to follow.
Question number 2: Are you aware of the importance Jesus places on the local gathering of believers in a church?
I think our generation is pretty ignorant when it comes to the local church. We often overemphasize the universal body of Christ to the expense of the local body of Christ.
I’ve had my share of discussions with people who do not want to be affiliated with the local body of Christ because they are part of the wider body of Christ. They go to one church for the worship, one church for the teaching, and another church for the large singles population.
Let me say this simply: this is not the Lord’s will. God’s desire is for us to be committed to a local church. I thank God that my church family is bigger than my local church Covenant Life Church. But I thank God for my local church family. I don’t know where I would be in my walk as a believer or in my life as a husband and father were it not for my local church.
For more on this subject pick up Mark Dever’s book the 9 Marks of a Healthy Church and Stop Dating the Church by Josh Harris.
Question number 3: Did you go away to college?
I know this sounds like a funny question and I am most likely going to get in a bit of trouble for my perspective on this, but here it goes…
The 3 years between 18 to 21 are some of the most formative years of your life. It’s where your faith and your world really start to integrate and form. It’s where realities that you were completely unaware of begin to bombard you at a pace that is hard to keep up with.
New people with new ideas. New teachers with false philosophies that have bits of truth in them (the best lie is always a twisted truth). New friends that have very different convictions and understandings.
All this hits you almost simultaneously and your parents are 1000 miles away and there’s no church, no local body of Christ, no pastor, no mentor to help you sort through all this. You are left alone with your small group of like-minded 18 to 21 year olds to sort through all of it.
Folks, the church you are a part of is more important than the college you go to. I am amazed at how many people pick their school without even thinking about whether there is a solid gospel preaching church in the area. I often observe that people have an assumption that “of course” there will be a good church near the school. Don’t assume that. If you are thinking about going away for school and leaving your church and family, find a solid church before you sign that letter of intent. Do your homework and investigate. And if you can’t find a good church, don’t assume it does not matter. It does. Do yourself a favor and find a thriving local church first then go to the college near it. Your life will never be the same!
And if you are away at school right now and have not found a church go to 9marks.org. They have a great database of churches that are sorted out by location. It’s a great resource.