ask questions

Feb. 7 2008

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Make sure you ask questions. They are really important in all types of relationships.

In other words, assume nothing in communication.  Here’s a story about why asking questions is important:

My family and I were sitting around the kitchen table eating dinner.  I asked my kids the question, “So who do you want to marry and why?”

This is a question I regularly ask my kids even though they are 7,5, and 3 years old—I want them to get used to talking about stuff like this and I want my kids to be involved in each others lives. So anyway, the person they want to marry usually changes on any given week based on who my kids played with that week or if the person chosen from last week hit them with the Dora doll or something.

So I got to Carthy and I asked him who he wanted to marry and why.  He said Shelby, our friend and next door neighbor’s little girl.  I said “Really, Carth? Why do you want to marry Shelby?” I cannot tell you how unexpected his answer was. 

He said, “I want to marry Shelby because SHE IS A FOX.”

I looked at my wife and both of our eyes lit up, shocked. My mind started racing—Where did he hear this term? Who did he hear it from? I’m sure going to call some parents tonight!

Before I was about to pounce on my son for his incredible worldliness and foolishness something inside me nudged me to ask him a question. So I said “Carth, why do you think Shelby is a fox?”

Without skipping a step Carthy said, “Well Dadda, Shelby is really fast and she likes to eat strange food like foxes do. She really likes Pineapple.”

Lisa and I doubled over we were laughing so hard (which lead to the whole family laughing really hard even though they had no idea what we were laughing at).

So here’s the moral of the story. Don’t assume you know what your friend is saying even if it seems obvious.  Just ask, “So what did you mean when you said......?”

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